Animal Abuse: Horses

It's always been a mystery to me as to why someone would ever hurt an animal. I've loved all animals from dogs and cats to sharks for as long as I can remember and mistreatment of any animal makes me sick. I work at a barn that is a rescue ranch for horses and I see a lot of severely abused animals and I always wonder what was going through the person's head? I once leased a horse, Comanche, who had been trained harshly with some physical abuse and she was terrified of people. My family thought she was a "bad horse" but I knew something was wrong. I worked with her for a few months and she finally let me in... but that was the most she could handle.

This story isn't about the horror stories I've seen with abused horses or even abused dogs at the shelter I volunteer at, it's about a particular horse at my barn that has a power about him, it makes you feel vulnerable but safe at the same time. This hub is about Hawkeye.

When I first went to visit the barn to see if I was interested in riding there, I was introduced to all of the horses. My attention was immediately drawn to Annie, a gorgeous paint who seemed sweet as can be but a bit shy. I was then introduced to Zach, who is now my favorite being and best friend, but there was one horse standing powerfully alone; that was Hawkeye.

Hawkeye had come to Reins of Change after his owners had abused him severely. They would beat him and frequently not feed him. He had been through the mill and it showed on his hardened face. His eyes were not hard like the rest of his face, they were soft, understanding, and kind... but they pierced the soul and left you stripped of all secrets. After holding eye contact with Hawkeye for just a second, I was a bit nervous to be around him. He knew my life. He knew why I needed to ride. He knew what was missing from my life even if I wasn't quite sure yet.

Hawkeye's wisdom continued to drive me away from him for a long time. I had so many secrets that it was best if I stayed with Zach who could tell when I was upset but didn't know what was wrong. I avoided Hawkeye in the paddock when I went to get Zach so he wouldn't read my mind and see what I was thinking. It wasn't fair... he knew all of my secrets just by looking at me and I just knew that he had had a horrible life prior to the one at Reins of Change.

Eventually I began to depend on Hawkeye because I needed someone to know that I wasn't OK. I got so good at lying that sometimes I would lie to myself and Hawkeye was good at reminding me to take it easy before I drove myself over a cliff because I didn't realize I wasn't OK until it was too late.

Now Hawkeye is getting rather elderly. I'm worried because I don't know how much time I'll have with him and it won't just affect me. His absence will affect every person who everyone who ever had therapy with him, all the horses, and most of all my trainer (who owns him). Hawkeye is a great horse and I am grateful to have in my life but scared to have him leave it. It's funny how sometimes you go from being terrified of something or someone to loving them so much.