How to Help a Friend Battle Depression
74Depression is a devastating illness that consumes a person to the point to which he or she doesn't care about anything or anyone else. When dealing with a friend that has depression, you must remember that you can't expect that person to be a full-functioning friend. Sometimes it's hard to deal with a depressed friend because you don't get the same support that you give.
As a person who has suffered from severe major depression I can say that my friends had a hard time dealing with me. I was extremely self-centered and wanted nothing to do with the rest of the world. I felt like I was done with the world and nobody could talk me out of it. It took over a year of therapy and thousands of dollars in order for me to see that maybe there was a light at the end of the tunnel, even if the light just barely flickered.
After overcoming the worse part of depression, I started to help my friends deal with their depression. Some of the things that I've found that worked well are:
1. If a friend tells you a plan to hurt themselves or someone else you must tell a person who can do something about it. As a friend, there is only so much you can do but a school social worker, a parent, or another trusted adult who can put the friend in a safe place.
2. Be there for them to talk. By far this is the most affective thing that any of my friends did. Just listen and no matter how stupid a problem sounds to you, that problem might be eating your friend alive. However, if the content gets to a point in which it needs to be handled by a professional (i.e. if the friend tells you about a suicide plan or plans to hurt him or herself).
3. Don't trust every time they say, "I'm fine." That phrase is depression code for, "Someone please break down these walls I put up!" It can take some prying and if you aren't too close of a friend then it's not the best idea to just ask over and over. Make sure that the, "I'm fine," is not a cover for, "I'm ending my life tonight."
4. Remind the friend that you love them. To feel loved and wanted is the most important feeling to someone who feels worthless, worthless enough that the world would be a better place without him or her. It's vital that your friend knows you care about his or her life.
5. The most important thing is to not put too much pressure on yourself. You, as the friend, can only do so much. If you are truly concerned about the friend and there is no other way to get your friend help call the police or a crisis hotline. 1-800-784-2273
It's a difficult thing to be a good friend, an even more difficult thing to be a good friend for a friend with depression. Depression is a difficult illness and just being there is the best thing anyone can do for a friend in need.
CommentsLoading...
this is good one
Be there for them to talk
A great hub dana825; great insight and advice. You're so right when you say it's difficult to be a good friend for a friend with depression - it takes a lot of energy and patience.
Depression is hard to deal with on your own, getting friends and family involved can help. Thanks for your info.
I have been going through this for a few years, its one of the hardest things that i have had to deal with. I had a gf that I lived with and dumped all of my depression onto her, IDK if I was just looking for help because I didn't care or know how to find it myself. She didn't know how to help, she didn't talk to any one about the issues that I was dealing with or the problems that we had, She broke up with me about a yr ago and the first 6 months were the hardest, to love her the way I do, she is or was my world. I didn't know that I had depression, I just thought life sucked.... lost my job, best friend, family, and my soul mate.
great advice, it is so hard to spend time with someone who is always down, their illness encourages them to withdraw from contact, so friends, you gotta hang in there and keep in touch. Ask your friend what you can do to help. Beware the sudden improvement... it may be because they have decided to end it all, and are relieved at their decision
I had depression but I didn't tell anyone. After three almost suicide attempts,
I told my best friend (one of the only resons that im still alive), and she said she was going though it as well. We supported each other and now were fine. We are so close now its good to hav someone so close to tell everything to, I sugest it. :)
Thank you for the help my friend is suffering of severe depression and blames every thing on herself. For example today we were playing volleyball and i asked if she would let another player hit the ball, she answered yes and almost immediately I saw the effects. She stopped smiling, laughing, and playing. She just stood in a corner and cried. I asked what was wrong and she just said she was fine three times then said that she was not going to play and said it was her fault and that she was punishing her self. After that I tried to tell her it was my fault and she denied it and told me to stop trying to take all the blame.
Mighty Mom 3 years ago
Good advice from someone who's obviously been there. It's really hard on the friends and family of a depressed person. Knowing when you are over your head and need to get professional help (and getting the depressed friend to actually accept the help) can be quite a challenge. Nice hub!